We get a lot of questions about our relationship and Jiu Jitsu. Brent is often being told how awesome it is to have a Jiu Jitsu family. I have decided to tell you guys what its like being married to my favorite training partner.
As some, but not all of you know, Brent and I both fell in love with Jiu Jitsu first and then each other. This means neither of us had to try to get the other one to try Jiu Jitsu. However that is not frowned upon at all ! I think if you started Jiu Jitsu or even tried it for your significant other because it was their passion, well that makes you one badass and supportive partner ! Trying something out of your comfort zone for someone you love, well there isn't anything much better than that. Hats off to you guys, and if you fell in love with it and stuck around that truly is a special gift.
That is not our story though. We didn't gift each other the love of Jiu Jitsu, The love of Jiu Jitsu gifted us with each other.
Brent was the first person I ever spoke to on the mats. He became my best friend and favorite training partner before we ever started dating. Once we crossed that line we made sure to talk about Jiu Jitsu and what our relationship would mean for that. We promised each other our relationship on the mats would not change. He would not start treating me like a princess, he would not start protecting me from the big and the bad, on the mats we were to stay best friends first.
We have successfully done that ! Not that we don't sneak a peck here or there, not that he doesn't stand up for me, but he lets me struggle, he lets me fail, he lets me make me own choices even when I know he is cringing inside and worried that I just went into the wolf den and left him outside. Sometimes he is the one smashing me into the mats, sometimes during drills I take a little pleasure in my only opportunity to put the pressure on. We have also kept our egos out of it. He taps me all day long and never do I expect him to treat me differently. The very rare times I have been able to sneak anything on him he beams with pride. If one of us accidentally injures the other we accept it for what it is. It is a part of the lifetstyle we have chosen. Never once has one of us been mad at the other for a accidental injury. (E.g. the cauliflower ear I accidentally gave him ;))
If we are upset with each other we do NOT take that onto the mats. We also don't monopolize each other during open mats because we get to roll at home anytime we want. We do usually partner for drills because we know each other so well our drilling is beautiful.
Jiu Jitsu is a lifestyle for us, we have mats in our garage and we roll for date nights. We drill techniques and help each other grow. Whenever one of us wants to work through something that maybe didn't work quite right in class we put that time in to and for each other. For his birthday he (we) are going to a Caio Terra Seminar. For mine we are competing at a sub league. For our anniversary he got the lapel encyclopedia from Keenan Online. This is our life. I wouldn't change it for anything. Some people think we are crazy but the truth is when you find your passion you enjoy it, and we are batshit passionate.
We balance it all with jobs, 7 kids, businesses, church, and more. It is not ever easy, but it is always our beautiful chaos.
If you have any questions please post them below ! -Cauliflower Ear Family
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